You Fucked Up, Now What?

A simple framework to fix when you mess up.

I was speaking with a colleague recently who made a mistake. He made a commitment to his boss and spaced on the deliverable. It ended up being a bit of a “thing” and my friend felt terribly.

In Mark’s Hierarchy of Fuck-Ups, it’s a Level 4¹. I’ve screwed up plenty and plenty bigger than that. Being in customer-centric companies means having to address mistakes, missteps, and outright errors often. It often feels like the end of the world. It rarely is, but it still sucks.

For high achievers, the feeling of failure on anything big or small really can sting. Worse is when we let down someone important to us. The loss of trust, perceived or real is the real killer.

So, if you’ve fucked up, here’s my simple framework for getting out of it and moving forward.

1. Own it fully and fast.

“I made a mistake. This is on me.” No excuses, no context, no soft landings. Just own it. Admitting the error and getting in front of it can immediately disarm and lower the heat. Ideally you get to them before they find the error.

2. Align on what actually went wrong.

Their definition might be different than yours. Say what you think happened in one sentence and ask, “Is that your view as well?” You need to both make sure that you understand what went wrong and that you understand the implications for them². This shows that you’re not just reacting to the error, but that you truly “get it.”

3. Mitigate immediately.

Don’t dwell on the mistake, act. Be specific about what you are doing or have done to address and fix it. Show that you’ve not only owned and understood the problem, but done all the things you can do to solve it. Energy belongs on the repair, not the remorse.

4. Rebuild trust through consistency.

If you’ve lost trust, the only way to get it back is to deliver on your promises going forward. Say what you’re going to do and do it. And repeat over and over again.

I can’t stress this enough — don’t dwell on the drama.

Communicate clearly and don’t assume they know you’re doing it. Over-communicate and deliver small wins until the balance resets.

High-intensity environments amplify small misses, so treat them like big ones. Stay steady, accountable, and forward-looking. The only way through is fast ownership, clear alignment, and visible follow-through.

If this post helped you, or made you think of someone, please consider forwarding it to them. And let me know what resonated or missed. I read every reply.

###

1. This doesn’t really exist, but if it did, I think it would be like DEFCON where 5 is no problems, 1 is War.

2. See my post on Mentalization for tips on understanding the person sitting across from you.