Your career is not a suicide pact

or "You're going to Hollywood! Damn."

There’s something I’ve said for years: your family, your job, yourself—pick any two.

I’m not sure that’s totally true, but I do know this—there’s a constant struggle to find balance. To be a great parent and a great partner and still deliver at the highest levels. To stay ambitious, stay available, and stay human.

Being a CEO only makes that harder. We often believe we have to be the hardest-working, most committed person in the company. That everything else should take a back seat. That anything less is weakness.

But when our identity becomes inseparable from our job, we lose something important.

Chris Gannett reminded me of that. Back in 2011, he was the Chief Marketing Officer of Core Media Group, the parent company of American Idol and other major global entertainment properties. It was high-stakes, high-gloss, high-pressure work.

On October 19th of that year, he was in Los Angeles at a media dinner with Idol talent and production partners. But it was also his twin sons’ first birthday. He wasn’t home. He was 2,500 miles away.

He told himself they wouldn’t remember. That he didn’t have a choice. That this was the cost of success.

One of the Idols offered to sign headshots for his sons. She wrote a birthday message to each of them. Chris still keeps those photos on his shelf today. Not as memorabilia. As a reminder.

Not of the moment itself, but of what that moment revealed.

He didn’t make a huge change the next day. Most of us don’t. But over time, more moments stacked up—including the loss of his father and the collapse of a business during COVID—and eventually, he started listening harder. To his kids. To his wife. To himself.

And he acted.

Chris and his family relocated to Dallas to be closer to extended family. He left behind a coast-based career track and started commuting to New York weekly, trying to bridge the gap. But it still wasn’t enough. When his son told him he felt like his dad lived in New York and just visited on weekends, something clicked.

So he changed the business he was in. He bought into a local experiential marketing firm. When COVID decimated that company’s business model, he pivoted again—this time not just professionally, but personally. He listened instead of solved. He grieved instead of just moving on. He got quiet enough to ask: What do I actually want now?

That led to something new.

Chris left the business. He got certified as an executive coach. He didn’t just reinvent his job—he re-centered his identity around values that had once taken a back seat.

This episode of the podcast isn’t about dramatic life overhauls. It’s about noticing the quiet moments that tell us something’s not working—and having the guts to do something about it, even if it takes years.

Your career doesn’t have to cost you your identity.

You’re allowed to want something else.

You’re allowed to write a different story.

Chris did. You can too.

🎧 We talk about all of this—and a lot more—on this week’s episode of Critical Moments. It’s one of the most honest conversations I’ve had. I hope you’ll give it a listen: http://mbj.im/pod

If you’ve ever felt torn between who you are and what your job demands, this one’s for you.

And if you’re in a moment like that right now—feeling the tension, sensing the drift—don’t ignore it. Talk to someone. Reassess. You don’t have to make a big leap today, but you owe yourself a clear look at what matters most.

Hit reply if this hit something for you. Or forward it to someone who’s been carrying too much for too long. Sometimes hearing someone else name it is the first step toward change.

Thanks for reading,