It's the Feelings, Stupid!

Or, 🎶 "whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings!"🎶

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Maya Angelou

I was reminded of this quote recently.

There is someone in my life and career who has been incredibly important to me. Instrumental in so many ways. And I fucked up an important interaction with them.

At the time, I thought I was handling it well. I remember it as a complicated and delicate conversation. But looking back, I was focused and in my head more on delivering a message—on saying what I thought needed to be said—rather than truly understanding how it would land. My approach, my words, my delivery—they didn’t work. It hurt them. And as a result, it hurt our relationship.

After a couple of years and a pretty rough conversation, we eventually cleared the air. But in doing so, they reminded me of something I should have already known:

Feelings matter.

How you make people feel always matters.

In business, we talk about strategy, execution, numbers, and results. We analyze data, we refine messaging, we optimize performance. But we don’t talk nearly enough about how we make people feel. And yet, that’s what sticks. That’s what defines relationships, reputations, and impact.

This experience reminded me that I only have one brand, and that brand is how I show up for people. And more than anything, I want people to feel better after interacting with me.

This isn’t just about mentalization—about seeing things from another’s perspective. It’s bigger than that. It’s about intention. About awareness. About ensuring that even in difficult conversations, even in moments of challenge, people walk away feeling respected, valued, and understood.

Because long after the words fade and the specifics of a moment blur, what remains is the feeling you left behind. And that’s what truly matters.

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